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Political Science for Dummies

My aunt forwarded this to me some time ago and it was so funny, I thought I’d share it with all of you 🙂


Political Science for Dummies

DEMOCRAT


You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful. 
You push for higher taxes so the government can provide cows for everyone. 
 

REPUBLICAN


You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So? 
 

SOCIALIST


You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow. 
 

COMMUNIST


You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour. 
 

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE


You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows. 
 

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE


You have two cows.
Under the new farm program, the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pour the milk down the drain. 
 

AMERICAN CORPORATION


You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows.
You are surprised when one cow drops dead.
You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up. 
 

FRENCH CORPORATION


You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good. 
 

JAPANESE CORPORATION


You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school. 
 

GERMAN CORPORATION


You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately, they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year. 
 

ITALIAN CORPORATION


You have two cows but you don’t know where they are.
You break for lunch.
Life is good. 
 

RUSSIAN CORPORATION


You have two cows.
You drink some vodka.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You drink some more vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have. 
 

TALIBAN CORPORATION


You have all the cows in  Afghanistan , which are two.
You don’t milk them because you cannot touch any creature’private parts.
You get a $40 million grant from the  US  government to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons. 
 

IRAQI CORPORATION


You have two cows.
They go into hiding.
They send radio tapes of their mooing. 
 


POLISH CORPORATION


You have two bulls.
Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them. 
 

BELGIAN CORPORATION


You have one cow.
The cow is schizophrenic.
Sometimes the cow thinks he’s French, other times he’s Flemish.
The Flemish cow won’t share with the French cow.
The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow’s milk.
The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
The cow dies happy. 
 

FLORIDA CORPORATION


You have a black cow and a brown cow.
Everyone votes for the best looking one.
Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally vote for the black one.
Some people vote for both.
Some people vote for neither.
Some people can’t figure out how to vote at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think is the best looking cow. 
 

CALIFORNIA CORPORATION


You have millions of cows.
They make real   California  cheese.
Only five speak English.
Most are illegal.
Arnold  likes the ones with the big udders.


 
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Posted by on May 31, 2011 in Recreational

 

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Small Business 101: Part I, Business Structures

If you haven’t already, please read the introduction to this series!

Now, I realize that covering business structures might seem an unorthodox place to begin, but you’re just going to have to trust that there’s a method to my madness. Before you jump into writing business plans, designing business cards, and taking out ads on Facebook, you’re going to want to think about a few things. The following is a list of the different types of business structures you will want to decide between to get you jumpstarted on your brainstorming.

So you have an idea for a business and want to make it official. Or maybe you’re just a little low on self-esteem and feel that tacking “Founder and CEO of Urban Watermelon Innovations” or “Director of Kerblunking at Yachtswoman Industries,” onto your resume might just do the trick and impress some important people. Either way, it’s probably time to start filling out that paper work, right?

Wrong.

Before we go all Rambo on our paperwork, we should probably decide on the right business structure for you. This is important because the business entity you establish determines which income tax return form you have to file, though that’s only where the distinctions begin. So, what are your options?

If you recall from my introduction, I’m going to approach this as if I intend to start my own consulting firm in entertainment and technology. Let’s say, for examples sake, that I plan on entering into this with several friends and we all want to share in the responsibility, profits, and losses. While we shouldn’t make any rash decisions now without a decent business plan, I can rule out a sole proprietorship.

As you can see in the above, incorporating your business has a lot of benefits, but since my business is not already established and with any structure or any foreseeable revenue stream, the disadvantages seem to definitely outweigh the pros.

If you already have a small business which you want to incorporate, talk to a lawyer and consider receiving counsel from an accountant as well.

I don’t see my future company as having shareholders anytime soon, so we’ll tentatively keep an LLC in mind as we continue towards the next step: writing an effective business plan, the topic of my next post.

Thanks for reading and feel free to comment with any feedback or questions you might have from what we’ve covered thus far.

 
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Posted by on January 12, 2011 in Small Business 101

 

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